Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCEDivorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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