Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCEREALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
AMBROSE BIERCE







