They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCEREALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
AMBROSE BIERCE