Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCESpeak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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