Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCESpeak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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