Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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