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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

Norm MacDonald

He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
NORM MACDONALD

Himself Praise Search
Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
NORM MACDONALD

Afraid Destroy People Trust
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD

Confidence Easy Man Temptation Violence
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Courageous Defeat Failure Hero Himself Lost Man Sick
As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
NORM MACDONALD

Body Heart Occasion Passion Soul Tranquility
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
NORM MACDONALD

Action Affect Deep Future Ourselves Regret
With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
NORM MACDONALD

Abandonment Ambitious Defeat Failure Occasion Philosophy Purpose
Few people love with the violence they hate.
NORM MACDONALD

Hate Love People Philosophy Violence
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Funny Material Myself Protection Value
A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
NORM MACDONALD

Device Equality Knowledge Person Practice
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
NORM MACDONALD

Philosophy Reason Shame Virtue
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Identity Joke Myself Perfection
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Man Money Sick Win Yourself
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD

Fortune Policy Wasted Time
Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Friendship Funny Home Ideas Man See Thrill Walk Yourself
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Fate Fools Ignorance Tragedy

Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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