Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
LILY TOMLINI can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN