I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
LILY TOMLINI can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
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The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
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After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
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When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
LILY TOMLIN