I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLINIf trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
-
-
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN -
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
LILY TOMLIN -
The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
LILY TOMLIN -
If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
LILY TOMLIN -
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
LILY TOMLIN -
Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN -
Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLIN -
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN -
You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
LILY TOMLIN -
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN -
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
LILY TOMLIN -
I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
LILY TOMLIN -
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLIN -
Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
LILY TOMLIN -
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
LILY TOMLIN






