You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALDWhen people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
NORM MACDONALD