Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALDThe reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
-
-
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
NORM MACDONALD -
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD -
I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD -
I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALD -
Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALD -
They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
NORM MACDONALD -
Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
NORM MACDONALD -
In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALD -
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
NORM MACDONALD -
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
NORM MACDONALD -
I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD -
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD -
A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALD -
When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALD -
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD






