During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
NORM MACDONALDAll that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALD






