The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALDAll that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
NORM MACDONALD