Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
NORM MACDONALDIf you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALD






