All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
NORM MACDONALDIf you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD