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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.

Steven Wright

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Literature Word Wrong
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Book Funny Myself Writing
All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Believe Funny Hands Myself Science Yourself
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Inspirational Motivational Struggle Way Wrong Yourself
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Man Sad Yourself
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Mathematics Pronunciation Sound
My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
STEVEN WRIGHT

Better Doctor Myself Pay Right Work Yourself
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Memories Myself Past Thinking
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Alphabet Order Song
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Children Myself Quick Toy
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Car Funny Yourself
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Alcohol Myself Photograph Thinking Woman
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Buy Fame Friendship Herself Popular Toy
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Fight Funny Gift Myself Room
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Crime Man Office Photograph Writing
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Kill Learning Love Myself Time

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.

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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.

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Popular Authors

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