In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALDViolent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
NORM MACDONALD