You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTINHow many people have never raised their hand before?
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTIN