I love money. I love everything about it.
STEVE MARTINWhen I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
STEVE MARTIN