Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTINI’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
STEVE MARTIN






