“Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.”

Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.

It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.

Be so good they can’t ignore you.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

How many people have never raised their hand before?

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.

I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.

I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I have lost friends, some by death, others by sheer inability to cross the street.

Communism is already acknowledged by all European powers to be in itself a power.

Happiness is in your ability to love others.

Have confidence in your ability to do it right, and work hard to do the best possible job.

In the big leagues everyone has ability. It always comes down to mind games. Who ever is more mentally strong-wins.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Cowardice, as distinguished from panic, is almost always simply a lack of ability to suspend the functioning of the imagination.

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.