I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Clones are people two.
STEVEN WRIGHT