Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECKIf you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK