My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECKHousework can kill you if done right.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
-
-
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK -
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK -
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECK -
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
ERMA BOMBECK