Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECKHousework can kill you if done right.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECK