Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECKFriends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK