Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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Children make your life important.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK