He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen humor goes, there goes civilization.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
ERMA BOMBECK