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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Heart Live Worry Yourself
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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Beautiful Experience Life
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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