black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

W. C. Fields

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes