Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDSI have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS -
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS -
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS