Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDSI have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS -
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never eat before breakfast.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
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I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS






