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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

W. C. Fields

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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