I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDSI exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS