The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDSI exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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I drink therefore I am.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
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I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
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It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS