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I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

W. C. Fields

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

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I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

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