black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

W. C. Fields

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes