Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS -
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS -
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS -
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never eat before breakfast.
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I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS