This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDSI never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS -
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS -
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS -
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS -
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS -
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS -
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS