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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

W. C. Fields

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

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