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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

W. C. Fields

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

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