Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEYAn interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do
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I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
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You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
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So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
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You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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Life is improvisation.
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I hire people that are good, and aren’t crazy. Or assholes. Because that takes up too much time. There are just as many good people who are not crazy.
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People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
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This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
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If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
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To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
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My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.
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Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
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Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.
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You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
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My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
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For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs.
TINA FEY