I do a lot of family shows.
TIM ALLENI have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
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Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
TIM ALLEN