Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
TIM ALLENFor years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
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A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
TIM ALLEN






