A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
TIM ALLENFor years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
TIM ALLEN -
When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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I have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLEN