If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
TIM ALLENMan is the only animal to borrow tools.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
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But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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I have a thing for tools.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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