I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
TIM ALLENI don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
TIM ALLENWomen are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
TIM ALLENKids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
TIM ALLENAnytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
TIM ALLENFor years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
TIM ALLENWhen I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
TIM ALLENI have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
TIM ALLENI wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
TIM ALLENBeing wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
TIM ALLENWhile awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
TIM ALLENI am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
TIM ALLENSometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
TIM ALLENMen aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
TIM ALLENNever comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
TIM ALLENThe world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
TIM ALLENI have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLEN