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I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.

Tim Allen

When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
TIM ALLEN

Condition Father Life Moment Present Realization Yourself
I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
TIM ALLEN

Children Drive License Protection Requirement
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy One Liner Ultimate
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
TIM ALLEN

Forever Love Marriage Moments Myself Young
If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, let’s be fair, that means you’ve got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you’ve done. It’s okay to say, “God, I wish I’d done this; yeah, but I did do that.” Then it kind of balances out.
TIM ALLEN

Balance Congrats Goodness Kind Mistake Work Yourself
I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
TIM ALLEN

Consider Funny Phone Technology
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLEN

Move Muscle See Sight Time Vehicle Yourself
I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Creativity Design Graphics
I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Growth Hunter Love Myself Skin Vegetable
I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
TIM ALLEN

Adult Age Children Myself Sadness
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
TIM ALLEN

Depend History Point View
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN

Drive Myself Quality Sound
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Beginning Humanity Time Yourself
I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
TIM ALLEN

Age Different Disappoint Love Myself Preference Woman
I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLEN

Cat Dog Man Myself Person Travel
I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
TIM ALLEN

Body Character Man Myself Trap

I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.

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I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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