I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLENYou don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLEN