Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHTSupport bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHTSomeone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
STEVEN WRIGHTI was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHTIs it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
STEVEN WRIGHTYou never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
STEVEN WRIGHTHow come abbreviated is such a long word?
STEVEN WRIGHTI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHTHalf the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHTFive out of four people have trouble with fractions.
STEVEN WRIGHTLast night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
STEVEN WRIGHTI’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
STEVEN WRIGHTNo one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHTMy friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
STEVEN WRIGHT