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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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Fight Funny Gift Myself Room
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Forest Funny Himself Man Nature Woman Wrong
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Inspirational Motivational Struggle Way Wrong Yourself
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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Addiction Difference Myself Quit
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Forget Myself Right Thinking Time
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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Alcohol Myself Photograph Thinking Woman
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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Myself People

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