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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.

Steve Martin

I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Eat Exercise Funny Myself Right
There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
STEVE MARTIN

Audience Better Drive Inspirational Learning Motivational Terrorism Yourself
All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
STEVE MARTIN

Honesty Myself Pay Work
I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTIN

Drink Myself Price Try
There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
STEVE MARTIN

Need People Relationship Soul Mate Yourself
Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTIN

Business Happiness Person Surprise Try Yourself
I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
STEVE MARTIN

Breathe Business Mistake Myself Worst
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
STEVE MARTIN

Harm Illusion Inspirational Learning Moments Myself
I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN

Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTIN

Doctor Funny Goodness Myself Sick
It’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTIN

Change Live One Liner Ourselves Pain
Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Kiss Man Sex Start Talk Yourself
How many people have never raised their hand before?
STEVE MARTIN

Deep Hands People Question Voice
When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
STEVE MARTIN

Death Myself Thinking
Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
STEVE MARTIN

Ability Element Natural Necessary Quality Yourself
I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
STEVE MARTIN

Deep Emotion Happiness Myself Sad Time

I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.

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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Steve Martin Quotes