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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.

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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
STEVE MARTIN

Criticize Himself Man Walk Way Yourself
A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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Carry Father Himself Money Photograph Sadness
There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Need People Relationship Soul Mate Yourself
You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Life Yourself
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTIN

Destruction Funny Philosophy
Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Kiss Man Sex Start Talk Yourself
I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
STEVE MARTIN

Growth Old Thinking Yourself
Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
STEVE MARTIN

Ability Element Natural Necessary Quality Yourself
Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
STEVE MARTIN

Different Evolution Human Walk
I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN

Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Body Count Self Love Worth
Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
STEVE MARTIN

Goodness Inspirational Motivational Perseverance Substitute Talent Thankful
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
STEVE MARTIN

Greatness Inspirational Motivational Persistence Talent Thankful
With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTIN

Audience Comedy Goodness Greatness Ideas Response Work Yourself
Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Business Perspective Teach
I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTIN

Astrology Believe Luck Myself

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