I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
STEVE MARTINBefore you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN