Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTINI will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTIN






