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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.

Steve Martin

Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTIN

Business Happiness Person Surprise Try Yourself
Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
STEVE MARTIN

Different Goodness Myself People Promise Talk Unique
I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
STEVE MARTIN

Body Funny Home Myself Play Stay Woman
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
STEVE MARTIN

Beautiful Believe Money Myself Natural Sex
When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
STEVE MARTIN

Death Myself Thinking
I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
STEVE MARTIN

Creation Enjoyment Flow Goodness Myself Right Word
I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
STEVE MARTIN

Growth Old Thinking Yourself
It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Body Count Self Love Worth
I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
STEVE MARTIN

Experience Imagination Life Myself Reality Stand
It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTIN

Philosophy Thinking Yourself
Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
STEVE MARTIN

Act Character Help Identify Life People True Understand Yourself
Be so good they can’t ignore you.
STEVE MARTIN

Goodness Ignorance Inspirational Motivational One Liner Yourself
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Believe Equality Myself Stupidity
I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTIN

Drink Myself Price Try
Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Kiss Man Sex Start Talk Yourself
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTIN

Alcohol Drink Poet Team Writing

I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.

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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.

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