The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
STEVE MARTINI’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
STEVE MARTIN