There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
STEVE MARTINI’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
STEVE MARTIN