There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we’re planning for the parade.
SHAQUILLE O'NEALI failed, I think, seven [or] eight times before I finally got my first [championship]. It was just, you know, just about me growing up.
More Shaquille O'Neal Quotes
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We’re focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it’s not good enough to get you fat. We’re trying to get fat.
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If I was able to have the game I have and shoot 80% from the line, I’d probably be an arrogant person rather than a humble one.
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I don’t know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don’t know.
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Y’all reporters like my quotes, don’t you. Yeah, my quotes are Shaqalicious.
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When I come back, we’ll all need each other to step up our games and do what needs to be done.
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This is a guy who they would have secret meetings about to change the rules. So, that’s going to be my legacy: the most dominant player ever.
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Talk to the guys that ain’t doing nothing, don’t talk to me. I just want eight guys out there with me who want to play.
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Stats don’t matter. I care about winning, not stats. If I score 0 points and we win I’m happy. If I score 50, 60 points, break the records, and we lose.
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I failed, I think, seven [or] eight times before I finally got my first [championship]. It was just, you know, just about me growing up.
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Being that I’m a tropical black man I don’t get to see much snow. When I see snow I go crazy. That’s why they call me Sasquatch. There’s no Sasquatch found in the snow so I had to go back to my Sasquatchian roots.
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Yeah, D-Wade called me up last night and said that he saw some film of me in high school and thinks that my form then was better and that I should shoot like that.
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Do a lot of stuff. But always do things the right way. Went to the police academy to become a police officer.
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They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn’t always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.
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The problem with kids these days is they don’t have enough fun stuff to do. When I was stationed with my family in Germany, youth basketball programs gave me something to strive to do my best at.
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Przybilla can’t guard me when I’m 27, 37 or 47.
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I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it’s not how you start the date, it’s how you finish it sir.
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You know, I’m very photogenic.
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I’m a combination of the Terminator and Bambi.
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Kobe always tried to be a hero. But you know, as the saying goes, a hero ain’t nothing but a sandwich.
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I’m on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it’s all up in the medulla oblongata. I’ve got a lot up there. I’ve got a lot of knowledge… in this medulla oblongata.
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Get away from my house. What do you want?
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If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we’re both going to say ouch.
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I think I’m the only player who looks at each and every center and says to myself, ‘That’s barbecued chicken down there.’
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Opinions are like belly buttons; everybody has one. I never knock a man for his opinion.
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Every challenge you put in front of me, I’ve handled it, dismantled it – ate them, dropped them off in the bathroom and flushed them away.
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It was a weird game. There was ugly shooting and a lot of turnovers and mistakes, and we were just fortunate to get the win.
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