“Every challenge you put in front of me, I’ve handled it, dismantled it – ate them, dropped them off in the bathroom and flushed them away.”

I ate too many Frosted Flakes. I don’t remember what I said last night.

I told him I’d think about it and then my pops called and said something like that so I decided to revert back and then.

You guys make the rules up, so a foul is a foul. It doesn’t matter if a guy is bigger and stronger. It’s not my fault I ate my Frosted Flakes when I was little, and you ate Wheaties.

That was a foul, young lady. You know that was a foul. Don’t ask dumb questions.

I really get motivated when I have doubters.

I think I’m the only player who looks at each and every center and says to myself, ‘That’s barbecued chicken down there.’

I respect order and it really gave me the discipline to be a leader and not a follower. It also helped me stay out of trouble.

We want to win. We want to win big. We want to win the whole thing.

Everybody is not going to like it, but I don’t care if they like or not. I’m Bush, so if they don’t like it resign.

This is a guy who they would have secret meetings about to change the rules. So, that’s going to be my legacy: the most dominant player ever.

I endorse only products I actually use. Like Wheaties keeps offering me money, but I don’t eat Wheaties, so I can’t do it. Now, if Rice Krispies or Frosted Flakes offered me a deal, I’d take it right away. Apple Jacks, I’d be on the box in a heartbeat. Apple Shaqs. Yeah.

I don’t think anything of Laura Frank. You heard me – Laura Frank. Not Lawrence. Laura… It’s not that I blame him, I just wish he’d go to a manly tactic and just fight me. Don’t whine. When he whines, that’s when I change his name of Lawrence Frank.

Once you learn how to do something, you don’t lose it. Unless you die.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn’t always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

Why don’t you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I’m stronger).

But, hey I did everything the right way and earned my spot in this game, nothing was given to me.

Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don’t know where the bathroom is.

People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.

I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’

I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

Everyone of us wakes up in the morning, goes to the bathroom, looks in the mirror and asks: “Who am I? Who am I today?

We have the most varied and imaginative bathrooms in the world, we have kitchens with the most gimmicks, we have houses with every possible electrical gadget to save ourselves all kinds of trouble – all so that we can have leisure. Leisure, leisure, leisure!

We found the bathrooms, which were labeled ‘Aliens’ and ‘Femaliens.’ ‘Finally,’ I said to J.Lo. ‘Here’s a bathroom you’re allowed to use.

I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.