“We’re focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it’s not good enough to get you fat. We’re trying to get fat.”

Because I grew up with a drill sergeant in my life,

Now that I’m an old, old veteran-age 29-I do things a lot differently. I don’t go to the gentlemen’s clubs anymore. I had to slow that down.

There’s no answer for my offense, just like the polythagorean theorem.

My wrists are crooked and don’t go all the way back. I’ve been practicing and working on them. You can’t do everything good.

I don’t know how it is for you earthlings, but where I’m from, strength is mental.

Get away from my house. What do you want?

I’m still here. I’m a force to be reckoned with… you have to come take my spot, and not through Twitter and not through the media, come take my spot.

If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we’re both going to say ouch.

Przybilla can’t guard me when I’m 27, 37 or 47.

I’m very educated and can give you somewhat of a vocabulary, but I don’t get to the philosophical side.

I’m a combination of the Terminator and Bambi.

A lot of people can, you know, start the date with flowers and candy, but if you don’t finish the date – you know what I mean?

It’s his show and I’m just trying to make him look good. If we were the same age there might be a little tension, but I’m on my way out… I am here to serve your every need, King James.

I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

You know, I’m very photogenic.

If I were a painter, you’d be calling me Shaqcasso.

I was a fat little kid with a speech impediment. I used to get beat up, not just picked on.

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

We can see that there is far too great an emphasis placed on the future.

What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig.

And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.

The Glycemic Index is one the best tools for fat loss.

“You fat, disgusting slob, you’ll never be thin enough, good enough, smart enough, tough or talented enough.