“They asked me when I was out there, ‘Why do you want to be traded?’ I said me staying here is like divorcing my wife and marrying someone who looks like me. That’s backwards, man.”

We’re focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it’s not good enough to get you fat. We’re trying to get fat.

It’s sort of like in the movie The Karate Kid when Daniel said he needed Mr. Miyagi. And Mr. Miyagi gave him that confidence to believe he really didn’t. These guys think they really need me right now, but they don’t.

I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn’t want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.

There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we’re planning for the parade.

I’m going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year – I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

I’m always ready for a change. I’m Irish. I’m a leprechaun.

It’s LeBron’s team. He’s the captain. This is the time in my career where I can fit in. I’m now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that’s what I’m here to do.

As a basketball fan, I get sick and tired of people talking about numbers. To me, the world is getting too materialistic.

I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it’s not how you start the date, it’s how you finish it sir.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what’s best for them, including me.

I just said to myself, ‘Damn, I’m a great player.’

If you don’t stick to simplicity, you’ll die a horrible death.

I never make a face when they try to flagrant or hack-a-Shaq me, because I’m not from this planet. Earthlings don’t faze me.

I came here with the perfect chemist’s perception. The formula they had was perfect and any added ingredient could make it go bad or worse.

Keep in mind, I’m not allowed to be tough. I’m tamed.

Stay out of the gentlemen’s clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused.

Nobody wants to get hurt. Nobody wants to hurt anybody. We would all like to be able to live an uncluttered life.

You listen to a politician making a speech, and it is like hearing nothing. Whereas, music is unmistakably music.

My faith was tested like Job. That’s the message I try to tell other people: just because you believe in God, serve God, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, people gotta realize, it don’t mean things not gonna happen to you.

I equate Deadheads to people that like black licorice. There aren’t many people that like black licorice, but the ones that do, REALLY REALLY like it! Or buttermilk, or whatever.

I’m not the same man I used to be, I’m not out hell-raising, stuff like that. I am a changed man.

I like all the kinds of music I’ve been into. I’m certainly not a purist in that I will only play country licks in a country song or blues licks in blues stuff.

The fine, hair-like rootlets at the bottom and the microscopical cells of the leaves at the top.

If you value a man’s regard, strive with him. As to liking, you like your newspaper – and despise it.