“Pluto is not a planet, but I am.”

I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn’t want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.

There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we’re planning for the parade.

I’m going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year – I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

I’m always ready for a change. I’m Irish. I’m a leprechaun.

It’s LeBron’s team. He’s the captain. This is the time in my career where I can fit in. I’m now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that’s what I’m here to do.

As a basketball fan, I get sick and tired of people talking about numbers. To me, the world is getting too materialistic.

I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it’s not how you start the date, it’s how you finish it sir.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what’s best for them, including me.

I just said to myself, ‘Damn, I’m a great player.’

If you don’t stick to simplicity, you’ll die a horrible death.

I never make a face when they try to flagrant or hack-a-Shaq me, because I’m not from this planet. Earthlings don’t faze me.

I came here with the perfect chemist’s perception. The formula they had was perfect and any added ingredient could make it go bad or worse.

Keep in mind, I’m not allowed to be tough. I’m tamed.

Stay out of the gentlemen’s clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused.

I know how to turn the bad into good always.

If I was able to have the game I have and shoot 80% from the line, I’d probably be an arrogant person rather than a humble one.