“I don’t know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don’t know.”

Do a lot of stuff. But always do things the right way. Went to the police academy to become a police officer.

I don’t believe in pressure. Pressure is when you don’t know where your next meal is coming from.

I’m a very quotatious person.

Yeah, D-Wade called me up last night and said that he saw some film of me in high school and thinks that my form then was better and that I should shoot like that.

I ate too many Frosted Flakes. I don’t remember what I said last night.

I told him I’d think about it and then my pops called and said something like that so I decided to revert back and then.

You guys make the rules up, so a foul is a foul. It doesn’t matter if a guy is bigger and stronger. It’s not my fault I ate my Frosted Flakes when I was little, and you ate Wheaties.

That was a foul, young lady. You know that was a foul. Don’t ask dumb questions.

I really get motivated when I have doubters.

I think I’m the only player who looks at each and every center and says to myself, ‘That’s barbecued chicken down there.’

I respect order and it really gave me the discipline to be a leader and not a follower. It also helped me stay out of trouble.

We want to win. We want to win big. We want to win the whole thing.

Everybody is not going to like it, but I don’t care if they like or not. I’m Bush, so if they don’t like it resign.

This is a guy who they would have secret meetings about to change the rules. So, that’s going to be my legacy: the most dominant player ever.

I endorse only products I actually use. Like Wheaties keeps offering me money, but I don’t eat Wheaties, so I can’t do it. Now, if Rice Krispies or Frosted Flakes offered me a deal, I’d take it right away. Apple Jacks, I’d be on the box in a heartbeat. Apple Shaqs. Yeah.

I don’t think anything of Laura Frank. You heard me – Laura Frank. Not Lawrence. Laura… It’s not that I blame him, I just wish he’d go to a manly tactic and just fight me. Don’t whine. When he whines, that’s when I change his name of Lawrence Frank.

As long as God does not intervene in the contemporary universe in such a way as to violate physical laws, science has no way of knowing whether God exists or not.

You think you KNOW when you learn.

A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.

Know what you value, be willing to take a risk, and lead from the heart – lead from what you believe in.

It is not permissible for us to go on destroying the family life when we know that we are destroying it.

I know there’s an online petition to have another referendum [like Brexit] but I think honestly I think if people want to go for it a little further down the line it would be a hiding for nothing.

Fools ignore complexity. Pragmatists suffer it. Some can avoid it. Geniuses remove it.

The Hasidic rabbi, Zuscha, was asked on his deathbed what he thought the kingdom of God would be like. He replied, “I don’t know. But one thing I do know.