“I’m on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it’s all up in the medulla oblongata. I’ve got a lot up there. I’ve got a lot of knowledge… in this medulla oblongata.”

I’m pissed off. ‘Cause I knew I did something wrong. I’ll have a hell of a season if I win the championship and average 20 points a game.

I’m dominant every night. I come in every night and get beat up.

He’s the president. I’m the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.

I beat a lot of teams from the line. You have to have mechanics. But see, what people don’t know about my wrists is my wrists don’t go all the way back.

(The Hack-A-Shaq is) just a way of telling me that you can’t stop me. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I don’t take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.

I’m a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that’s how I am. I’m true.

Y’all reporters like my quotes, don’t you. Yeah, my quotes are Shaqalicious.

When you’re righteous, you don’t have to tell people that you’re righteous.

A pinch is a pinch. If you pinch my right nipple, I’m going to say, ‘ouch.’ If I pinch your right nipple, you’re going to say ‘ouch.’ A foul is a foul and a flagrant is a flagrant.

Obviously, Sam is the type of guy that hides behind his pen and pad. I promise you he wouldn’t say that to my face in a dark alley where it’s just me and him and no witnesses.

I would like to be referred to as ‘The Big Aristotle’.

Tell Yao Ming, ‘Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.’

The stats win nothing. I’m still sexy. I’m still great.

I’m the first player in history that doesn’t want to play defense and still gets in foul trouble.

I failed, I think, seven [or] eight times before I finally got my first [championship]. It was just, you know, just about me growing up.