I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITEThere are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
More Ron White Quotes
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I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
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