I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITEMy uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
More Ron White Quotes
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You can’t fix stupid.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE






