I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
RON WHITEMy uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
More Ron White Quotes
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITE